Humorous Things To Do On An Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: 'Got enough air in there?' 


2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 


3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open.


4. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 


5. Walk in with a box that says 'human head' on the side. 


6. Say 'I wonder what all these do' and push the red buttons. 


7. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. 


8. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your 'personal space.' 


9. Announce in a demonic voice: 'I must find a more suitable host body.' 


10. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Joke - Strange!

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." 

The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. 

However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer." That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: 

"That's Strange!"

Humour - No Worries

In life there are two things to worry about: Either you are well or you are sick. If you are well then there is nothing to worry about, but if you are sick there are only two things to worry about: Either you get well or you die. 

If you get well then there is nothing to worry about. But if you die there are only two things to worry about: Either you will go to heaven or to hell. 

If you go to heaven then there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends you won't have time to worry.

Jokes - Nothing But Complain

A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he's allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. 

"Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away.

 Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "That's not surprising," the elders say. "You've done nothing but complain since you got here."

Joke - Annoying Customer

A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant.

First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.

Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry.

So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest.

"Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile.

"We don't even have an air conditioner."