Joke - Mother's Choice

A young man finds the woman of his dreams and asks her to marry him. He tells his mother he wants her to meet his fiance, but he wants to make a bit of a game out of it. He says he’ll bring the girl over with two other women and see if his mother can guess which is the one he wants to marry.

His mother agrees to the game.

That night, he shows up at his mother’s house with three beautiful young ladies. They all sit down on the couch, and everyone has a wonderful evening talking and getting to know each other.

At the end of the evening, the young man asks his mother, ‘OK, Mom, which one is the woman I want to marry?’

Without any hesitation at all, his mother replies, ‘The one in the middle.’

The young man is astounded. ‘How in the world did you figure it out?’

‘Easy,’ she says, ‘I don’t like her.’

FLASHY DIOUF ............................................

Sports car-loving footballer El-Hadji Diouf will have to do without his beloved vehicles for six-months after being banned from driving.

The Blackburn Rovers player, who is as famous for his ball skills as he is for an outrageous fleet of over-the-top cars, was convicted of a string of driving offences including speeding, having no valid license and failing to produce his documents today.

The multi-millionaire Premier League star, 29, was also fined a total of £920 at Tameside Magistrates. The incidents occurring in July, September and November 2009.

Souped-up: El-Hadji Diouf's gold Cadillac Escalade is perhaps the most outrageous of his fleet

Big bucks: A Mercedes SLR worth £420,000 has given the special chrome-plated treatment

Pedestrian: Diouf must get used to walking places now

Among his famous fleet is a souped-up super shiny Cadillac Escalade that would have cost in the region of £53,000 to buy, before the raft of customised fittings tipped the value closer to six-figures.

Complete with a 6.2litre engine, six-speed gear system, and four-wheel drive, the Escalade gold paint job is without doubt the standout feature.

The Senegalese international also boasts a show-stopping chrome Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren - a pinch at £420,000 - a white BMW X6 and a £100,000 Porsche Cayenne.

Today Diouf was fined £60 and ordered to pay £35 costs for speeding, doing 38 mph in a 30 zone on Chorley New Road on 25th July 2009.

In relation to an incident on 14 Sept 2009 Diouf was charged with having no license, failing to provide his license and for failing to produce his insurance certificate for which he was given no separate penalty but ordered to pay £35 costs. A charge of no insurance was withdrawn.

He was also fined £750 and ordered to pay £35 costs for failing to give information relating to the identity of a driver on the 4th November 2009, plus pay a victim surcharge of £15.

Since arriving in the UK eight years ago Diouf has played for Liverpool, Bolton Wanderers and Sunderland. He has also represented his country on 43 occasions, scoring 16 goals.

All white on the night: The Blackburn star has ofter been caught parking in places that he shouldn't

Mambo Italiano: Diouf also boasts a classic red Ferrari

Humour - The Homework Schedule

The school homework schedule for the average student.

Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes.

15 minutes looking for assignment.

10 minutes calling a friend for the assignment.

24 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children.

8 minutes in the bathroom.

10 minutes getting a snack.

7 minutes checking the TV Guide.

6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment.

10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment

On to May...

Right. Time to update the old blog. It's been languishing the past, oh, 4 months. Now that I am officially selling handspun yarn, handknit items, and soon--carded batts of fiber, I think it's time to dust off the blog.

About three months ago I purchased two adorable French Angora bunnies. A silver-gray doe (Nuit Noire), and a light cream-color buck, Primo Torto. Over the past months I've noticed that they have developed personalities. Nuit (I call her New-ee) is a bit timid, but will always come right up to the door to say hi to me. Torto is very gregarious. He hops right up to the door before I even unlatch it, and insists that I rub his nose/head before anything else occurs. They are about 3/4 through their first fiber shedding, and I've been combing it versus shearing it. As a handspinner, I find sheared bunny fiber tends to have coarse ends where cut. Combing or brushing ensures a better spinning fiber.

French Angora bunnies are smaller than the English/Giant breeds, and therefore have less yearly fiber yield. However, I think I'm going to get at least one, as the fiber yield can be anywhere from 1-3 lbs per year--which is 2-3x more than FA yield.

I finally got new yarns and some knitted hats on my etsy site. Even made 2 sales in the past week! I'm very excited, as I hope this leads to Vtknitboy on Etsy becoming a larger part of my life.

Will try to post more often, as I will be listing yarn, knitwear, and batts (to spin) later!

Cheers!

ALIKIBA VS. TID LAST FRIDAY AT CLUBAFRIQUE