A man died and went up to heaven. Upon arriving he noticed two signs One said “Men Who Are Bossed By Their wives,” the other one said “Men Not Bossed By Their Wives.”
After closer inspection he noticed that while next to the first sign was a big line, by the second sign there was just man. After getting even closer he realized it was his friend Harry. “Hey Harry” the man questioned “what in the world are you doing here?
“I don’t know” Harry replied “my wife told me to stand here.”
Old Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper.
The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his pocket.
It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it.
The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”
A man died and went to “The Judgment”, they told him , “Before you meet God, I should tell you — we’ve looked over your life, and to be honest you really didn’t do anything particularly good or bad. We’re not really sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us make a decision?”
The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, “Yeah, once I was driving along and came upon a person who was being harassed by a group of thugs. So I pulled over, got out a bat, and went up to the leader of the thugs. He was a big, muscular guy with a ring pierced through his lip. Well, I tore the ring out of his lip, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering this guy or they would have to deal with me!”
“Wow that’s impressive, “When did this happen?”
“About three minutes ago,” came the reply.
It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked a passenger if he would like dinner.
“What are my choices?” he asked
“Yes or No,” she replied
Q: Why did God create Man before Woman?
A: He didn’t want any advice.
"We live in a mobile home. Hey, there are some advantages to living in a mobile home. One time, it caught on fire. We met the fire department halfway there."
- Ronnie Shakes
