Joke - Mom's Birthday Present

My parents recently retired. Mom always wanted to learn to play the piano, so dad bought her a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was doing with it. "Oh, we returned the piano." said My Dad, "I persuaded her to switch to a flute instead."

"Why?" I asked. "Because," he answered, "with a flute, she can't sing."

Joke - Question Of Corruption

During a trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he asked, "that you accepted ten thousand dollars to compromise this case?"

The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't hear the question.

"Isn't it true that you accepted ten thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond.

Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."

"Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."

Joke - Printed On The Bottom

A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother there were 2 boy kittens and 2 girl kittens. “How did you know?” his mom asked.

“Daddy picked them up and looked underneath and told me,” he replied, “I think it’s printed on the bottom.”

Joke - Who Gets The Toy?

The father of four children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask who should have the present.

“Who is the most obedient?” he asked. “Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?”

The four small voices answered in unison. “Okay, daddy, you get the toy.”

Joke - Sun At Last!

The professor in our inorganic chemistry lectures needed sunlight to catalyse a chemical reaction in an experiment.


However, on two successive days the weather was too cloudy. When on the third day, sunlight streamed in, the professor said, " At last we have a little sun".


Immediately a voice from the back of the room said, "Three cheers for the professor's wife".

Joke - Real Lucky

A pedestrian stepped off the curb and into the road without looking one day and promptly gets knocked flat by a passing cyclist.

"You were really lucky there," said the cyclist.

"What on earth are you talking about! That really hurt!" said the pedestrian, still on the pavement, rubbing his head.

"Well, usually I drive a bus!" the cyclist replied.

Just Another Blonde Joke!

A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. He’s telling a dumb-blonde joke when a young platinum-haired beauty jumps to her feet.

"What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?" she demands. "What does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?" Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology. 

"You keep out of this!" she yells. "I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!"