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9.6.11

Joke - The Decoy!

A Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular local bar, hoping for a catch. At closing time, as everyone come out he spotted his potential quarry.

The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for his car. After trying his keys on five other cars, he finally found his own vehicle.

He sat in the car a good ten minutes, as the other patrons left. He turned his lights on, then off, wipers on, then off. He started to pull forward into the grass, then stopped. Finally,
when he was the last car, he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away.

The patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the man over. He administered the breathalyzer test, and to his great surprise, the man blew a 0.00.

The patrolman was dumbfounded. "This equipment must be broken!" exclaimed the patrolman.

"I doubt it," said the man, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy!!!"

6.6.11

Joke - First Aid

It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted in the middle of a busy intersection. Traffic quickly piled up in all directions, and a woman rushed to help him.

As she knelt down to loosen his collar, a man emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside, and said, "It's all right honey, I've had a course in first aid."

The woman stood up and watched as he took the ill man's pulse and prepared to administer artificial respiration.

At this point she tapped him on the shoulder and said, "When you get to the part about calling a doctor, I'm already here."

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