CIARA HITS NY

Ciara pulled in to NY last night with DJ Scribble for the Malibu Boom Radio Station Invasion tour. Dressed in a black cut out dress and her staple Christian Louboutin pumps, she stopped by the red carpet before hitting the stage

Hilarious Joke - The First Landing

My brother-in-law is a little bit on the crazy side. The first time he went up in an airplane, it was to skydive.

The second time was a few months later on a commercial flight. When the plane started the descent, he got a bit nervous.

The lady sitting next to him asked "Are you flying for the first time?"

He responded, "No its just my first landing."

Joke - A Job Opening

A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he waited anxiously for the outcome. 

The employer having read all his applications said, "We have an opening for people like you." 

"Oh, great," the applicant said, "What is it?"

"It's called the door!"

Yet Another Blonde Joke!

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, trots into a wealthy neighborhood. She goes into the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"

The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"

The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde is at the door to collect her money.

"You've finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

The Three Blondes - Funny Joke

There were three blondes driving down a hill. Suddenly the girl driving realized that her brakes were gone. They all started screaming and telling themselves they were going to die.

Then one girl noticed a sign. She Said, "Oh! Don't worry there's a stop sign down there!"

Joke - The Funeral Director

A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist. 

The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home. 

He had finished the book by the time he reached his house. 

The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife. 

Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?" 

"The funeral director," said his wife.

Yet Another Lawyer's Joke

A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, "you do God's work." The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop.

A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused to pay, saying, "you protect the public." The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts at the door to his shop.

A lawyer came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying, "you serve the justice system." The next morning the barber found a dozen lawyers waiting for a free haircut.

Funny Joke - Aces!

A Sunday school teacher said to her children.

"We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"

One child blurted out, "Aces!"

From Beautiful To Good Looking - Funny Jokes

A husband was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, his wife was sitting at his bedside.

His eyes fluttered open, and he murmured, "You're beautiful."

Flattered, she continued her vigil while he drifted back to sleep.

Later he woke up and said, "You're good looking."

"What happened to 'beautiful'?" she asked him.

"The drugs are wearing off" he replied