NELLY KAMWERA AWA MISS UNIVERSE 2011

Miss Universe 2011,Nelly Kamwera akiwani mwenye furaha mara baada ya kushinda usiku huu katika mashindano yaliyofanyika katika hoteli ya Golden Tulip,Masaki jijini Dar.

It's Not Hard To Meet Expenses - One Liner Joke

It's not hard to meet expenses... 

they're everywhere.

Lead Me Not! - One Liner Joke

Lead me not into temptation,

I can find the way myself.

Joke - Matching Colours

Our dog left so many disgusting stains on our carpet that we had to buy new carpet. I didn't want to be stupid about the new purchase, so I cut the stains out of the old carpet.

When the carpet guy asked what color we wanted, I pulled the stained patches out and said, "Yeah, can you match this color!"

Joke - Batteries For A Lifetime

An angry motorist went back to a garage where he'd purchased an expensive battery for his car six months earlier.

"Listen," the motorist grumbled to the owner of the garage, "when I bought that battery you said it would be the last battery my car would ever need. It died after only six months!"

"Sorry," apologized the garage owner. "I didn't think your car would last this long."

Joke - Duty Bound

The traveler was indignant at the slow speed of the train. He appealed to the TTE:

"Can't you go any faster than this?"

"Yes," was the serene reply, "but I have to stay aboard."

Joke - Fooling The Caterpillars

The small boy sat at the foot of a telegraph pole, with a tin can in his hands. The curious old gentleman gazed first at the lad and then at the can, much perplexed.

"Caterpillars!" he questioned. "What are you doing with them?"

"They climb trees and eat the leaves," the boy explained.

"Yes?"

"And so," the boy continued proudly, "I'm foolin' this bunch by lettin' 'em climb the telegraph pole."