A man selling vacuum cleaners appeared at the door of an old lady's cottage and without allowing the woman to speak, rushed into the living room and threw a large bag of dirt all over her clean carpet.
He said," If this new magic cleaner doesn't pick up every bit of dirt, I'll eat it."
The woman who by this time was losing her patience, said "Sir, if I had enough money to buy that cleaner; I would have paid my electricity bills before they cut it off. Now what would you prefer, a spoon or a knife and fork?"
28.2.10
A woman's job!!
A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin.
After sending the applicants through background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to two men and a woman, but only one position was available.
The day came for the final test to see which person would get the extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances," they explained. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her."
The man got a shocked look on his face and said, "You can't be serious! I could never shoot my own wife!" Well," said the CIA man, "you're definitely not the right man for this job then."
So they bring the second man to the same door and hand him a gun. "We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances," they explained to the second man. "Inside you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her."
The second man looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and went in the room. All was quiet for about five minutes, then the door opened. The man came out of the room with tears in his eyes. "I tried to shoot her. I just couldn't pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I'm not the right man for the job."
"No," the CIA man replied. "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go the hell home."
Now they're down to the woman left to test. Again they lead her to the same door and hand her the same gun. "We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances. This is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him."
The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even closed all the way, the CIA heard the gun start firing, one shot after another, for 13 shots. Then they heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. This went on for several minutes, then all went quiet. The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman....... She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks! I had to beat the son of a bitch to death with the chair!"
The second man looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and went in the room. All was quiet for about five minutes, then the door opened. The man came out of the room with tears in his eyes. "I tried to shoot her. I just couldn't pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I'm not the right man for the job."
"No," the CIA man replied. "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go the hell home."
Now they're down to the woman left to test. Again they lead her to the same door and hand her the same gun. "We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances. This is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him."
The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even closed all the way, the CIA heard the gun start firing, one shot after another, for 13 shots. Then they heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. This went on for several minutes, then all went quiet. The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman....... She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks! I had to beat the son of a bitch to death with the chair!"
24.2.10
NAOMI CAMPBELL .................
Naomi Campbell attended The ELLE Style Awards 2010 held at the Grand Connaught Rooms in London on Monday.Naomi, who donned an Alexander McQueen jungle-print dress, was presented with the Outstanding Contribution award by the British Prime Minister’s wife, Sarah Brown, for her efforts in the fashion industry and charitable endeavors.
21.2.10
SHE LOOKS GORGEOUS
Kate Moss turned out to support her friend Naomi Campbell at the Fashion For Relief catwalk show for Haiti yesterday. The model took to the runway and also paid tribute to designer Alexander McQueen, the best way she knew how, by wearing one of his creations.
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