A Woman's Love - Funny Joke

When one woman loves you, you are a husband

When a few women love you, you are a man

When many women love you, you are a lover

When hundreds of women love you, you are an idol

When thousands of women love you, you are a leader

But,

When all the women in the world love you, you are a DIAMOND

Been Soup - Funny Joke

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed.

"Good heavens," he said, "what is this?"

"Why, it's bean soup," she replied.

"I don't care what it's been," he replied. "What is it now?"

Bunny Farts - Silly Joke

Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots??? 

A: Bunny farts!

Winning A Bet - Funny Joke

Three vampire bats live in a cave surrounded by three castles. One night, the bats bet on who can drink the most blood.

The first bat comes home with blood dripping off his fangs. He says, "See that castle over there? I drank the blood of three people."

The second bat returns with blood around his mouth. He says, "See that castle over there? I drank the blood of five people."

The third bat comes back covered in blood. He says, "See that castle over there?" The other bats nod. "Well," says the third bat, "I didn't."

Ant And The Toilet Seat - Funny Joke

Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat?

A. Because he was pissed off!