1. The Boss is always right.
2. If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.
3. Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotions.
4. Ph.D. stands for "Pull Him Down". The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a person, the more committed a person; the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down.
5. If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
6. When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
7. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you are going to do.
8. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
9. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
10. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
11. Following the rules will not get the job done.
12. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
13. Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous".
14. No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
15. You can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work you are supposed to be doing.
16. In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.
17. In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.
18. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.
19.5.10
17.5.10
Golden Rules About Girls!
1. If u think a girl is beautiful, she'll always have a boyfriend to confirm that
2. The nicer she is...the quicker u will be dumped!!!!!
3. The more the makeup, worse the looks...
4. "99% of the girls in this world are beautiful. Remaining 1% would always be in your company."
5. The guy standing next to a beautiful girl can never be her brother.
6. If by any chance the girl you like , likes you too, she will let you know in about 10 years from now ,when you are commited.
7. The more you ignore a girl, the more she'll want to be friends with you.
8. The more u run towards a hot chick....the more she goes away from u...
9. Even if you got her out alone... Just when you are about to let her know about your feelings...she will spot a long lost friend.
Corollary to rule 9: The more desperate you are to tell your feelings to a girl on a private chat, the more probability the long lost friend she discovered is a handsome superman, who beats you in everything 9:1
10. The day the chick you really like comes and speaks to you will be the day when-
1. You are dressed badly
2. Have a bad hair day
2. The nicer she is...the quicker u will be dumped!!!!!
3. The more the makeup, worse the looks...
4. "99% of the girls in this world are beautiful. Remaining 1% would always be in your company."
5. The guy standing next to a beautiful girl can never be her brother.
6. If by any chance the girl you like , likes you too, she will let you know in about 10 years from now ,when you are commited.
7. The more you ignore a girl, the more she'll want to be friends with you.
8. The more u run towards a hot chick....the more she goes away from u...
9. Even if you got her out alone... Just when you are about to let her know about your feelings...she will spot a long lost friend.
Corollary to rule 9: The more desperate you are to tell your feelings to a girl on a private chat, the more probability the long lost friend she discovered is a handsome superman, who beats you in everything 9:1
10. The day the chick you really like comes and speaks to you will be the day when-
1. You are dressed badly
2. Have a bad hair day
Joke - Spelling Mistake.
Two men were walking home after a late night party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery.
Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.
Trembling with fear they move on. Soon they notice an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They mis-spelled my name!"
Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.
Trembling with fear they move on. Soon they notice an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They mis-spelled my name!"
Discoveries and Inventions by Men and Women
Men discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT,
Women discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.
Men discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION,
Women discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.
Men discovered GAMBLING and invented CARDS,
Women discovered CARDS and invented KITTY PARTIES.
Men discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD,
Women discovered FOOD and invented DIET.
Men discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE,
Women discovered LOVE and invented MARRIAGE.
Men discovered TRADING and invented MONEY,
Women discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.
Women discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.
Men discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION,
Women discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.
Men discovered GAMBLING and invented CARDS,
Women discovered CARDS and invented KITTY PARTIES.
Men discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD,
Women discovered FOOD and invented DIET.
Men discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE,
Women discovered LOVE and invented MARRIAGE.
Men discovered TRADING and invented MONEY,
Women discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.
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