Joke - Stand Corrected.

I have this friend who seemed to lean slightly to the left all the time. It used to bother me, so I suggested he see a doctor, and have his legs checked out. For years, he refused, telling me I was crazy.

But last week he finally went and, sure enough, the doctor discovered his left leg was 1/4" shorter than his right.

After undergoing an orthopedic surgery, he no longer leans.

"So", I said, "You didn’t believe me when I told you a doctor could do the job."

He just looked at me and said, "I stand corrected."

Joke - Time Troubles.

A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city’s major jogging routes. No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on his window. He looked out and saw a jogger running in place.

"Yes?"

"Excuse me, sir," the jogger said, "do you have the time?"

The man looked at the car clock and answered, "7:15".

The jogger said thanks and left. The man settled back again, and was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window and another jogger.

"Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?"

"7:25!"

The jogger said thanks and left. Now the man could see other joggers passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time before another one disturbed him. To avoid the problem, he got out a pen and paper and put a sign in his window saying, "I do not know the time!"

Once again he settled back to sleep. He was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window.

"Sir, sir? It’s 7:45!."

Joke - Finding The Right Man!

Two women are walking down the street and come to the window of a jewelry store. They stop to admire a gorgeous diamond bracelet in the window.

The first one says, "Beautiful, isn’t it? But who would be fool enough to pay ninety thousand for it?"

To which the second one replies, "I don’t know, but I hope I find him."

Another Genie And The 3 Wishes Joke

A Government Employee sits in his office and out of boredom, decides to see what’s in his old filing cabinet. He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp.

"This will look nice on my mantelpiece," he decides, and takes it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes.

"I wish to be on a beautiful island in the Caribbean."

POOF!

He suddenly appears on a gorgeous beach.

After overcoming his initial surprise, he states his second wish.

"I wish to be surounded by beautiful women."

POOF!

And a crowd of gorgeous women flock to him!

He tells the genie his third and last wish: "I wish to never have to work ever again."

POOF!

He’s back in his government office.

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