If You’re Prone To Impulsive Purchases - One Liner Joke

“If you’re prone to impulsive purchases, stick to shoes, not tattoos.”

The Super Funny Chicken Joke

A man in a black suit walking along a road comes across a chicken, who says to him, “What’s your name?”

“Bond, James Bond,” says the man. “What’s your name?”

“Ken, Chic Ken.” the bird replies.

Funny Joke - The Misinterpretation!

Jack wakes up with a horrible hangover and a throbbing black eye. The first thing he sees is a single rose on the side table and a note from his wife: "Dear, breakfast is made. I’ve gone shopping to make you your favourite dinner tonight. I love you!"

He stumbles to the kitchen and, sure enough, there’s breakfast. "Tom," he says to his son, "what happened last night?"

"You came home drunk and got that black eye tripping over a chair."

"So, why the rose, breakfast, and sweet note from your mother?"

"Oh, that. Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take off your clothes, you screamed, ‘Leave me alone, I’m married!’"

Funny Joke - The Verdict

A man is on trial for armed robbery. The jury comes back with the verdict. 

The foreman stands, clears his throat, and announces, “Not guilty.” 

The defendant leaps to his feet. “Awesome!” he shouts. “Does that mean I get to keep the money?”

Hilarious Joke - Looking For The Right Thing

The teenager lost one of his contact lenses while playing basketball in his driveway. After a brief, fruitless search, he gave up. His mother took up the cause and within minutes found the lens.

"How did you do that?" he asked.

"We weren't looking for the same thing," she explained. "You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for Rs. 1500."