Joke - School Note

A wise school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school:
"If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.

Joke - Health Secret

Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday, and every one was complimenting him on how well he looked. 


"I will tell you the secret," he said. "My wife and I were married seventy-five years ago. On our wedding night we made a pledge that whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go out and take a walk.


"I have been in the open air continuously for the past seventy-five years."

Joke - Get In Line!

A man is walking along when he sees a funeral procession going by. It is the longest procession he has ever seen, with a long line of men walking behind the bead body. He notices that the first man in line has a nice big dog on a leash. After watching the long line for a few minutes, the man's curiosity gets the better of him, so he goes up to the first man in the procession.


"Excuse me, Sir" he says to the mourner with the dog, "I'm very sorry to bother you in your time of grief, but never in my life have I seen such a large funeral procession. Could you please tell who this funeral is for?"


"Yes," said the man, tightening the leash on his dog, "the funeral is for my mother-in-law. "You see," he says, "my dog, here attacked and killed her."


"Gee, I'm really sorry to hear that," says the other man,


"But.. tell me do you think may be I could borrow this dog?"


The mourner points his thumb over the shoulders and says, "Get in Line."

Joke - Better View

Cricket humour - In a cricket match every decision of the umpire was received by the spectators with hoots of derision. The umpire finally decided to quit the field and joined the crowd.

A spectator asked him : Why are you sitting here?"


I an trying to find out if I can see the game better from here? 

Joke - Stay There

It was raining heavily and the motorist had car trouble on a lonely country road. Anxious to find shelter for the night, he walked over to a farm house and knocked on the front door.
No one responded. He could feel the water from the roof running down the back of his neck as he stood on the porch.


The next time he knocked louder, but still no answer. By now he was soaked to the skin. Desperately he pounded on the door. At last the head of a man appeared out of an upstairs window.


"What do you want?" he asked gruffly. "My car broke down," said the traveller "and I want to know if I can stay here for the night".


"Sure," replied the man. "If you want to stay there all night, it's okay with me."