Joke - Paying Through The Nose

A guy walked into the tax collector's office with a huge bandage on his nose.

"Had an accident?" asked the tax man. "No" answered the man. "I've been paying through it for so long, it gave way under the strain".

Joke - Bad Translation

An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit.

Instead of "I Saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I Saw the Potato" (la papa)

Joke - Dinosaur Bones

Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard,

"Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?"

The guard replies, "They are 3 million, four years, and six months old."

"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?"

The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago."

Funny Lawyer Jokes

Did you hear about the terrorists who took a whole courtroom full of lawyers hostage? They threatened to release one every hour until their demands where met.


What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? His partners.


How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side then he
lies on the other.


What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?
Not enough cement.


"No Offence Intended"

Joke - Golf Lessons

A young man who was also an avid golfer, found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home.

Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him.

To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time.

Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball - and directly between his ball and the green. After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said,

"You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree."

With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.

The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only 3 feet tall."