Joke - Letters To God

A teacher had asked her class to write a letter to God. This is what some of them wrote:

Dear God:
Instead of letting people die and making new ones, why don't you just keep the ones you have?
- Johnny

Dear God:
Maybe Cain and Abel would not have killed each other if they had their own rooms. It worked with me and my brother. 
- Larry


Dear God:
If you watch me in church on Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes.
- Mickey

Dear God:
Is it true my father won't get into Heaven if he uses his such words in the house?
- Anita

Dear God:
Did You mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
- Norma

Dear God:
Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.
- Michael 

Joke - Group Photo

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out,
"And there's the teacher, She's dead."

Joke - Impression!

After successfully passing the bar exam, a young man opened his own law office. One day he was sitting idle at his desk when his secretary announced that a Mr. Jones had arrived to see him.
"Show him right in!" the lawyer replied.

As Mr. Jones was being ushered in the lawyer had an idea. He quickly picked up the phone and shouted into it "...and you tell them that we won't accept less then fifty thousand dollars, and don't even call me until you agree to that amount!"
Slamming the phone down he stood up and greeted Mr. Jones, "Good morning, Mr. Jones, what can I do for you?"


"I'm from the telphone company," Mr. Jones replied. "I'm here to connect that phone."

Joke - Bad Luck

Old Susie's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months. Things looked grim, but she was by his bedside every single day. One day as he slipped back into consciousness, he motioned for her to come close to him. She pulled the chair close to the bed and leaned her ear close to be able to hear him.

"You know" he whispered, his eyes filling with tears, "you have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you stuck right beside me. When my business went under, there you were. When we lost the house, you were there. When I got shot, you stuck with me. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. "And you know what?"

"What, dear?" she asked gently, smiling to herself.

"I think you're bad luck."

Joke - Precious Cow!

The wise old Mother Superior was ill. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen.

Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey they had received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

When she walked back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more.

Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. "Mother," the young nuns asked with earnest, "please impart us some of your wisdom."

She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and said, "Don't sell that cow."