Diet tips:
• If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
• If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they cancel each other out.
• When eating with someone else, calories don't count if you both eat the same thing.
• Food used for medicinal purposes never counts, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sara Lee cheesecake.
• If you fatten up everyone else around you, you look thinner.
• Movie-related foods such as Milk Duds, popcorn with butter, and Junior Mints don't count because they are simply part of the entertainment experience and not a part of one's personal fuel.
Enjoy your diet!
—Malcolm Kushner, How to Use Humor for Business Success
• If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
• If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they cancel each other out.
• When eating with someone else, calories don't count if you both eat the same thing.
• Food used for medicinal purposes never counts, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sara Lee cheesecake.
• If you fatten up everyone else around you, you look thinner.
• Movie-related foods such as Milk Duds, popcorn with butter, and Junior Mints don't count because they are simply part of the entertainment experience and not a part of one's personal fuel.
Enjoy your diet!
—Malcolm Kushner, How to Use Humor for Business Success
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