1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.
2: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
3: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain replaced so that I may be promoted to management
4: I will be unable to delete all the unread, emails you send me until I return from vacation on 12/08. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.'
7: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
8: Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
9: Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages.
FINALLY, THE BEST OF THEM ALL:
10: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of 'Steve'...
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