Humorous Quotes and funny sayings.
1. By all means, Marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher ... and that is a good thing for any man. - Socrates
2. Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson
3. I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown
4. Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one? - Bob Monkhouse
5. I never think of the future - it comes soon enough. - Albert Einstein
6. I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead. - Samuel Goldwyn
7. I can resist everything except temptation. - Oscar Wilde.
8. Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. - Mark Twain
9. I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk! - Homer J. Simpson
10. Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. - Mark Twain
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