1. My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a weighing machine.
2. When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive… so, I took her to a gas station.
3. A woman is standing, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."
The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’
4. I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? "
"Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
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